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Please help us find the lost DYDD.

 

 

DYDD Sightings

downy dingle dork - chinadoll
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Downy Yellow Dingle Dork (DYDD)

 

Summary information:

 

  • DYDD ranks in he top 10 of the Audobon’s most wanted to become extinct list.

  • Only 1 live DYDD specimen is left in the world today.

  • And that one has escaped.

  • The DYDD subsists on a diet of bananas.

  • The DYDD is valued on the black and blue market for its feathers, used as a form of currency in the DYDD subculture and thought to be an hallucinogen (when used for tickling).

 

Classification:

            The DYDD (Downy Yellow Dingle Dork) is a member of the Cuckoo bird family. It was officially named by Sir Winston Bragley III of the Royal Academy. Malicious rumors suggest that he named the bird in ‘honor’ of his former wife, the (now) Lady Emma Chucklebarry. Prior to that, the DYDD was simply referred to as ‘that dreaded blasted bird.’ The DYDD was once erroneously thought to be related to the extinct Dodo bird. In the late 19th century,  several DYDDs were first discovered sunning themselves on a beach near the Riviera. Further investigation showed that the DYDD population numbered in the tens of thousands, mostly in tropical climates, but was hunted to near extinction by the end of the 19th century. No one is quite sure how it managed to survive that long. The decline of the DYDD was also aided by its tendency to fall off of cliffs, landing on its head.

 

Physical appearance:

            The DYDD is a large predominantly yellow-feathered bird with a blue belly. It weighs up to 15 lb (after eating its diet of bananas) or 5 lb before eating. It has an oversized orange bill and eyes that appear to be cross-eyed. It wobbles rather than walks on orange spindly legs.

 

Bird song:

Are you kidding? It doesn’t have a song. It caws raucously and loudly, irritating anyone within the sound of its call.

 

Diet:

            Bananas. Sometimes it eats objects that resemble bananas. The one in captivity once tried to eat a yellow dingy. It does not appear to drink water explained by that fact that bananas are, afterall, nearly 75% water by content. Bananas are also highly nutritious. Try some.

 

Habitat:

            The DYDD has been found in all climates associated with the presence of bananas. So that generally means warm climates. However, since it is an unusually dumb bird, in the past, it was not unusual to find the DYDD in cold places (such as the arctic) as well, searching for bananas. It tends to squat in any open area and does not have the intelligence to make a nest or to come out of the rain for that matter.

 

Behavior:

            It can fly about as well as a chicken, although in doing so, it invariably lands on its head due to the weight of its beak. The DYDD is a highly sensitive and excitable bird that caws loudly and runs (generally into walls) at the first sign of trouble.  There is no information on its breeding behavior.

 

Catching the DYDD (or trying):

            Remain calm at all times. Sometimes, pretending to take a nap is a good way to get the DYDD to approach. It may then even lie down for a nap, especially if you have a good picture book to read.  Based on extensive research, the DYDD seems to like Dr. Zeuss books although it has also been observed to sit in (apparent) rapture through portions of “War and Peace” by Leo Tolstoy. It can run surprisingly fast and erratically, bouncing up and down and waving its nearly functionless wings as if it is trying to fly. In its wake, it usually leaves a telltale trail of yellow feathers and discarded banana peels.

path of the missing DYDD

I'FLASH!- 12-25- heading south toward the Pacific

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